It just sounds gross.  But when most of us get a few drinks down, we become a little less pure and a lot more unrefined.  Our mouth becomes our own personal weapon of mass destruction and our mind is held hostage of comprehension.  Verbal vomit spews out uncontrollably.  And phrases like, ‘I love you, man’ and ‘I not trying to be mean, but…,’ start to take a life of their own. 

And then there’s our appearance.  Sadly, we think we’re the cat’s meow.  For women, our make up is non-existent.  We are only left with smeared raccoon eyes and a distorted body image that we think we look like Jessica Biel.  For men, you’re a little sweaty (it’s a little gross) and your shirt is untucked with wrinkles at the bottom.  But dude, you are the captain of the football team!  You own this bar!  

Hey, we are all entitled to let loose after hours, speak gibberish, and look like a beat-up version of Raggedy Anne and Andy.  Right? 

The next day, we try to forget about the things we might have said and done.  Hazy vignettes run through our mind of the night before.  The dirty artist at bar smoking his Lucky Strikes (I think I might have kissed him).  The suburban MILF’s with their mom bellies (I think I freaked one of them on the dance floor).  The couple making out in the corner (Gosh, I wish that was me).  The couple making out in the restroom (Do they not know what STD’s are?).  And the hipster conversation about slogan tees that we tried so hard to ignore, but we couldn’t take it anymore and said some words that were inappropriate to say the least (STFU!).  And the shots.  Oh, the shots…they were going down so smooth… 

Alcohol helps ease the daily friction of life.  With good company, it is the Barry White of beverages.  It helps us bond with the ones we love and slowly get to second base with the ones we want to love.  Alcohol also can be the Sarah Palin of spiked punches.  It can spark a fire of excitement with rehearsed words or embarrass a party with its mindless rambling.  And lastly, alcohol is Rachel Ray of rum and cokes.  In 30 minutes or less, you can either stir up a good buzz and raspy voice or brew a pot of bullshit and annoy the hell out of everyone in the bar.