After a few nights of practice, I did it!  I was able to measure a few alcoholic masterpieces!  To spread the joy, here the three tasty cocktails I perfected to help you start your evening out right!  Enjoy!   

Grass Skirt

Ice Cubes

1 1/2 oz Gin

1 oz Triple Sec or Cointreau

1 oz Pineapple Juice

1/2 teaspoon Grenadine

1 Pineapple Slice

Half-fill a shaker with ice cubes.  Add the gin, triple sec/Cointreau, pineapple juice, and grenadine.  Shake well and pour (unstrained) into an old-fashioned glass.  Garnish with the pineapple slice and enjoy!   

Jamaica Sunday

Crushed Ice

2 oz Jamaican Rum

1 teaspoon Clear Honey

1/2 oz Lime Juice

2 oz Lemonade

Dissolve the honey in the rum and then pour into an old-fashioned glass filled with the crushed ice.  Top with lime juice and lemonade.  Enjoy! 

Hawaiian Vodka

Ice Cubes

3 oz Vodka

1 oz Pineapple Juice

1 oz Orange Juice

1 oz Lemon Juice

1 teaspoon Grenadine

1 Lemon Slice

Half-fill a shaker with ice cubes.  Pour in the all the juices and vodka.  Shake well and strain into an old-fashioned glass.  Garnish with the lemon slice and enjoy! 

Recipes from The Cocktail Handbook

Take a sip of your favorite alcoholic beverage every time you see or hear…

• A man wearing a Speedo (Hot!)
• A woman wearing a Thong th thong thong thong (Rrrr!)
• A man wearing a Thong th thong thong thong (Sick!)
• A New York accent
• A girl with a tramp stamp (Bullseye!)
• A guy with a barb wire tattoo
• A mom yelling, ‘Kids, come here!’
• A kid building a sand castle
• A local guy walking the beach with a female tourist (Someone is gettin’ some tonight!)
• Honeymooners holding each other with pina coladas in their hands

• A hairy guy wearing a big gold medallion
• A Boston accent
• A topless lady (Oh yeah!)
• A jogger running with his/her I-Pod
• A fat old lady wearing a super small bikini
• Someone saying, ‘We’re from Detroit…’ (They’re really not from Detroit, trust me!)
• An old man roaming the beach with his metal detector
• A guy with a pierced nipple (This could also be the same guy with the barb wire tattoo…2 sips!)
• Someone wearing a ‘I Love NY’ shirt
• A local hollering, ‘Watersports!’

• A girl with camel toe (Read her lips, dammit!)
• Someone wearing a Yankees baseball cap
• A girl with braids all over her head
• Someone not wearing sunscreen (Dumb ass!)
• A fat guy with an unlit cigar in his mouth (This may also be the same guy wearing a gold medallion…2 sips!)
• 2 men walking the beach together (Suspect!)
• A woman with Jerry Seinfeld’s haircut
• A cougar (No, not the feline!)
• A fat local lady with a hobo purse saying, ‘Braids for the beautiful lady?’
• Are you drunk yet?

Hope you enjoy the game! And remember to relax…Aaahhh!

Oh, Chris!  Poor, dumb Chris!  Who can forget the day you were too stupid for public school and the day you asked Old Man Herbert if he was a pedophile…

And Meg!  Oh, crazy Meg!  The vision of you seducing Brian and the look in your eyes as you grasped a package of hot dogs will haunt our memories forever…

To help ease the pain and comfort the inappropriateness, a drinking game in honor of Family Guy has been created.  So, let’s raise our glasses and toast to the Drunken Clam, Cleveland’s wife, and Quagmire’s love for the ladies…

Giggidy-giggidy-giggidy-giggidy!   Oh, yeah!

Take One Sip When…

• There’s a flashback
• Peter laughs
• Peter drinks a beer
• Peter does something stupid
• Peter says ‘Sweet’
• Stewie has a weapon
• Stewie says ‘Victory is mine!’
• Stewie chats with random adults
• Lois makes dinner
• Brian drinks
• Brian smokes
• Quahog News airs
• Trisha Takinowa reports
• There’s a family driving scene

Takes Two Sips When…

• Peter talks on the phone
• Stewie and Brian fight
• Stewie and Brian make fun of each other
• Joe says ‘Alright, let’s do it!’
• The scene is intentionally drawn out
• Chris says something stupid
• Chris has a good one-liner

Take Three Sips When…

• Someone falls down
• A random sequence airs

Finish the Beer When…

• Someone/A group breaks out in song
• Evil Monkey appears
• Kid with upside down face appears
• There’s a parody of another cartoon/TV show
• William Shatner appears

Are you drunk yet?

For more Family Guy fun, visit Stewie’s Playground.

On a lighter note… To honor our favorite staff at Scared Heart, a drinking game has been created!  What better way to show your love than to get drunk?  So, sit down and drink up, newbie!  This is going to be extra special! 

Oh, and don’t forget the Appletini!

• Dr. Cox calls JD by a woman’s name
• Dr. Cox calls JD “Newbie”
• Carla calls JD “Bambi”
• Dr. Cox calls Elliot “Barbie”
• JD calls Turk “Chocolate Bear”
• Dr. Kelso calls someone “Sport”, “Champ”, or “Sweetheart”
• The Todd Hi-Fives someone
• There is a flashback
• There is a dream sequence
• There is a fantasy
• Someone dances or sings
• Elliot shows her bra
• Dr. Cox puts his hands on top of his head
• The Janitor is shown actually cleaning
• Someone says “Jesus”, “God”, “The Lord”, or “Christ”
• The Todd wears his banana hammock
• Are you drunk yet? 

For more game ideas, check out Tarfumes.com

What do you think Santa will bring Jesus for X-mas?

So, we’ve covered the beer lover, wine lover, and music lover…who’s next?  The hard liquor lover!  Everyone’s favorite friend!   I mean, who doesn’t love inappropriate comments and the smell of alcohol on someone else’s breath?

However, drinking hard liquor can be a little pricey.  And if your BFF is drinking daily, he is probably only sipping on the finest Popov, Peppermint Schnapps, or Hot Damn the corner shop has to offer.  So, why not add a little class to your fellow hard liquor lover’s day and treat him to some top- shelf liquor?  I suggest the finely aged Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel Tennessee Whiskey.  This treat is not only flavorful, but allows your friend to say he is a Whiskey Aficionado!  A win-win!      

The holidays are always the best time of the year to buy liquor, too!  Why, you ask…CARDBOARD BOX LIQUOR SETS!  Lucky for you, Jack Daniel’s Single Barrel is available as a set…ALONG WITH 2 FANCY SPIRIT GLASSES!  Could Christmas get any better?  I think not! 

‘Tis the season for happy holiday spirits!  Cheers!

It’s hard to believe that I can honestly say I have seven years of professional work experience (professional, sometimes). I still remember my freshman year in high school wearing flannel and listening to Pearl Jam.  I remember idolizing the school’s heartthrob, Mike M, and waiting for him to walk by my fifth hour class.  I would never say anything to him.  Of course not.  I would just stare.

Now, I am a part of America’s cubicle farm.  Where millions of us sit in front of a computer waiting for the little yellow envelope to appear for some excitement.  Sometimes, we get a little silly and go on Facebook during work hours for a quick peek.  So rebellious.  It’s funny how in 15 years, I went from stalking a guy in the hallway to stalking status updates on the Internet.  And occasionally, while committing my scandalous visits to Facebook, I dream a little dream to ease the pain of policies and procedures.  

I daydream about beer and how my mouth waters with anticipation when I pour it into a frosted glass mug. 

I daydream about Aruba and how relaxing it is to sit on the sandy beach drinking beer and eating peanuts.  

I daydream about Margaritas served on the rocks with salt. 

I daydream about all the different types of shots.  Red headed sluts.  Kamikazes.  Lemon drops.  Just to name a few.     

I daydream about late night snacks and drinking beer.  Yum.  Cheesy spinach artichoke dip and chips.  Hot buffalo wings.  Potato Chips.  Yum.  Yum.  Yum.

I daydream about going to local bars while on vacation and hanging out with the friendly happy locals.

I daydream about rooting for the home team with a hot dog in one hand and a 32 oz. beer in the other. 

Oh, the list goes on and on and on and on…