Thank you, Dre!  Thank you, Jay-Z!  Thank you, Shady!    

Click here to view the embedded video.

This might be one of the best movie scenes ever!  Love it!

You are free as bird without any boundaries or extra baggage.  No worries about babysitting, the color of poop, or vaccinations.  No worries.  No worries.  No worries.  The only worries maybe too many highlights with your lowlights or too much foam in your latte.     

Becoming a parent is a life changing experience.  Kids bring a joy to your life that is unexplainable.  It honestly is a miracle.  One minute, you are single and ready to mingle.  Nine months later, you are blessed with a little mini-me.  As you watch them grow, you get warm fuzzy feelings all over your body.  You light up when you see their smile from across the room.  You want to love ‘em, hug ‘em and call ‘em George all day long.  You are their protector, educator, and best of all, mommy (or daddy).

But, the excitement of parenthood, can mess with the best of us.  Our identity is lost as our brain slowly diminishes to Nick Jr. and Noggin.   Our interests in politics, religion, fashion, and art become Dora and Sesame Street conversations.  And sadly, Blues Clues and Yo Gabba Gabba replace The Office and 30 Rock as ‘Must See TV.’ 

However, in the words of Public Enemy, you gotta ‘Fight the Power’ with drinking!  After you put little Jack or Janie to bed, unwind with a glass or two of wine or a can or two of beer.  Special Warning: No more than two!  It will help soothe the reality of everyday stress and help you cope with knowing all the words to Barney’s ‘I Love You’. 

Drinking after the little one goes to sleep does not make you a bad parent.  It makes you a better parent!  Why would you want to shout and take your frustrations out on you little baby?  Are you a serial killer or something?!?   

However, I must confess, there is another Special Warning:  You will freak out the first time your little one wakes up while you are enjoying your Merlot.  So, take it easy!  Stay calm!  If you freak out, they will freak out more.  Take your little one back to bed and shut the door.  Now,wait…  Wait about 10 minutes before you get your drink on again.  This will give little Janie or Jack a chance to start counting sheep and you a chance to relax and stop telling yourself you are a bad parent.

During your time of unwinding, reminisce about the good ‘ol days.  Your days of listening to Depeche Mode and wearing Doc Martens.  That one time in band camp and sneaking into the clubs with your sister’s fake ID.  Aaahh, the good ‘ol days!  You finally found yourself again!  No kids.  No worries.  Aaahh, the comfort of beer!   Afterall, after your mommy (or daddy) title, you are YOU!  And gosh darn it, people like you!

Well, they probably already have an iPod and a bunch of MP3 players.  And they probably already have every album in every music genre they ever wanted.  So, what’s left?  I suggest bringing back the mixed tape (or nowadays, the mixed CD)!  I spent thousands of hours back in the 90′s pouring my heart and soul into every masterpiece- it’s like a staple of my being!   And I can still feel the anxiety of watching the black tape increase on one side of the tape while I prayed that the whole song would fit on side one.

So, what kind of music do you put on a mixed tape for a music lover?  Songs that remind you of being with them!  It is both sweet and flattering!  And more than likely, they are songs the two of you heard while under the influence.  After all, music and alcohol go together like Sonny and Cher! 

To give you a boost of inspiration, here are some songs that remind me of some good (and sad) times spent with my friends and family (in no paticular order).  It puts a smile on my face just thinking about all the laughs, tears, and spilled beers!  Aaaawww!

1.  ‘Let’s get it on’ Marvin Gaye

2.  ‘I want to be sedated’  The Ramones

3.  ‘Got to give it up’ Marvin Gaye

4.  ‘Peace, love, and understanding’ Elvis Costello

5.  ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ Lynard Skynard

6.  ‘Friday I’m in love’ The Cure

7.  ‘Groove me’ King Floyd

8.  ‘Creep’ Radiohead

9.  ‘One’ U2

10.  ’1979′ Smashing Pumpkins

11.  ‘Come Undone’ Duran Duran

12.  ‘Killing me softly’ The Fugees

13.  ‘Quality Control’ Jurassic 5

14.  ‘Linger’ The Cranberries

15.  ‘Viva la vida’ Coldplay

16.  ‘The only living boy in New York’ Simon and Garfunkel

17.  ‘Sabotage’ Beastie Boys

18.  ‘What’s the 411?’  Mary J. Blige

19.  ‘Enjoy the silence’ Depeche Mode

20.  ‘Nite and Day’ Al. B Sure

The best part about this gift is that it is inexpensive!  Remember, it is all about seeing them smile, not spending the Benjamins!

2.  Girls in Bar Clothes.  Honestly, it is not 1999.  Be natural!  Your bar clothes look like a costume from Halloween USA.  And quit pushing your breasts up to your neck!  You look swollen!

3.  Bouncers Who Think They Are THE LAW.  Sit down and shut up!  You are here to make sure that no one gets hurt in case a fight breaks out.  Not to bully people around with your intimidating stare and crossed arms.  And quit making me feel like shit for standing.  There’s no room to move!

4.  Cover Charges.  Really, I have to pay to come into YOUR bar where I will spend money on drinks that YOU marked up 200%?  WTF?  Why?  Aren’t you making enough money on the drinks alone?  I know my cover charge isn’t going to ’pay for the band.’  There is no band!  And your DJ sucks! 

5.  The Smell.  That awful smell that lingers and follows you around until you finally take a shower.  All that smoke and alcohol.  Eeww!  Gross!   And the fact that your coat will smell like stale beer and cigarettes for the next week and a half just about blows.  Why did I bring it in?