1.  Banquet Hall Parties-Why would you want to spend hundreds of dollars to ‘party’ at the same place you attended a wedding at last summer?  Was the mostacolli that good?

2.  Dance Clubs- So, you are willing to pay a $50 cover charge for ‘free party favors’ and a ‘champagne toast at midnight’?  Are you sure?  The favors are from the dollar store and the champagne is Andre, so you may want to rethink this one.  Really.   

3.  Your Outfit- Must contain glitter, beading, sequence, or all of the above.    

4.  The Overuse of the Word ‘Exclusive’ - An EXCLUSIVE party for the New Year…  The EXCLUSIVE DJ from Europe…  EXCLUSIVELY from New York…  Exclusive!  Exclusive!  Exclusive! 

5.  Hotel Parties- Can’t you just invite the same people to your house and play Scrabble there?  Really, the hot tub isn’t that necessary.

So, what is my suggestion for NYE since I am being a little judgemental…

Save your money for 2009 and drink at home with Dick Clark!  He was there for you when you were a little kid and he is still here for you wishing you a happy and healthy New Year!  Go, Dick!

For more information on Home Bars, check out this posting!

(Go ahead, take a few moments and sing the song, it’s okay…) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ESl6oESgns

With the bass thumpin’ and the lights flashin’, you raise your hands up in the air to praise Mr. DJ.  After all, he’s playin’ your song!  It’s amazing what a little Jesus Juice can do!  Your Lord and Savoir is now a 300 lb. white guy with highlighted tips wearing baggy jeans and a tee- shirt that says, ‘I survived Anorexia.’   

As your jam is spinnin’ through the club, your head is spinnin’ with senselessness.  Any ounce of rhythm you had at the beginning of the night is slowly oozing out as sweat builds up on your forehead.  Left.  Right.  Step.  Step.  Step.  Left.  Right.  Step.  Step.  Step.  You are now in the middle of the dance floor with your arms wide open.  This is now your place of worship to feel the music, hear the gospel, and pray to the hangover gods.

Head roll and all, you sway your hips and close your eyes.  You lift your arms up in the air and curve your body to left.  And now to the right.  Oh, there’s a spin.  You’re creating artwork with your body.  The kind of artwork sold by a starving artist at a Holiday Inn for one day only.  Crafting your moves into seduction, you give the person next to you the Look.  The Look that says, ‘I know, I look good.’  The Look that says, ‘I know, I can move.’  The Look that in your head only is the apple of temptation.

Thankfully, before any evil can prevail, your jam slowly fades into the ‘Closing Time.’  You walk off the dance floor mumbling the lyrics.  Like the song, you hope tonight will be a one-hit wonder and your friends will forget the drinks you spilled on their shoes and the beer goggles you used to find your friend for the night.  Hey, the way you’re looking at it, you’re only taking one for the team like your Lord and Savoir, DJ JC.