Top 5 Annoying Things at the Bar
Dec 6th, 2008 by Goldie
1. Hipsters at ‘Their’ Bar. So you think if I hear you say, ‘Let’s get out of here,’ that I’m going to feel bad for being at your local watering hole? Absolutely not! Good! GO! Leave! Sorry if I’m not wearing your version of ’punk rock’ fashion and for being ‘too mainstream!’ I’m here for the beer and music, not you!
2. Girls in Bar Clothes. Honestly, it is not 1999. Be natural! Your bar clothes look like a costume from Halloween USA. And quit pushing your breasts up to your neck! You look swollen!
3. Bouncers Who Think They Are THE LAW. Sit down and shut up! You are here to make sure that no one gets hurt in case a fight breaks out. Not to bully people around with your intimidating stare and crossed arms. And quit making me feel like shit for standing. There’s no room to move!
4. Cover Charges. Really, I have to pay to come into YOUR bar where I will spend money on drinks that YOU marked up 200%? WTF? Why? Aren’t you making enough money on the drinks alone? I know my cover charge isn’t going to ’pay for the band.’ There is no band! And your DJ sucks!
5. The Smell. That awful smell that lingers and follows you around until you finally take a shower. All that smoke and alcohol. Eeww! Gross! And the fact that your coat will smell like stale beer and cigarettes for the next week and a half just about blows. Why did I bring it in?
There was a particular server at Blackfinn on Friday who had breasts pulled up to her chin. Veronica kept saying “I want to ask her how she gets her boobs like that!”
I remember her breasts! They were HUGE!
I think I fit into category 1… But you would too if annoying NYU co-eds in heels and puffy coats were taking over your low-key Brooklyn hangouts!!! xo